3...2...1... Rand-off!

Captain's Log, Randate 2056, September 2nd.

Today the collectivists destroyed the earth... "Get to the ship!" I yelled.

"Sir!" he began, "the Objectivist supply team has left for Durango. I guess they are upset again about the price of milk in Ouray. I can't find them anywhere!"

"Calm yourself, Lieutenant Willers. Who have you gathered from town?"

"There are three capitalists, seven materialists, and twenty-three reformed Mormons here sir. The Reformed Tabernacle is almost completely accounted for!"

"We'll have to make do then, Willers. Leave the others. There is no time! Tell the Mormons to load the cloning vats onboard...

"Willers, it is not a sacrifice if it is rational. You will stay here and that is an order. I expect you to do your duty"... Poor bastard, left to be tortured by the commies.

...looked down and said "Goodbye, foul Earth. Good riddance, pit of despair. Let the collectivists have that rock."