In the year 2056 AD the Earth... The Ayn Rand Institute, with the aid of the reformed Mormon Tabernacle of Ouray, Colorado... a last-ditch attempt at saving the human race from the evils of socialism...


How To Start An Objectivist Group On Your Campus

How to start an objectivist group on your college campus (also works for high school).  Sponsored by Students for Liberty, incorporated.  Stop slacking, hippy!
ayn rand objectivist institute yaron brook leonard peikoff michael berliner atheist capitalism


NASA documents reveal Rand conspiracy

The text of this memorandum was leaked privately to this blog by a close friend in military intelligence.  It appears to be some less-classified version of an official Top Secret report.  It would seem that NASA is being warned about potential terrorist activity by low-level employees.




SAC-SA-087-86                                                16 July 2013

TO:     [REDACTED]-----


[BEGIN TEXT] An ongoing joint DOJ/DIA/CIA investigation has been launched to determine the frequency and quality of an apparent terrorist cell operating out of NASA headquarters.  According to HUMINT sources from sensitive placement, and confirmed vis National Security Agency Operation PRISM, multiple federal government employees along with various elements of the Fort Meade, Maryland chapter of Occupy Wall Street have begun forming a terrorist organization with the intent to radicalize youth and destroy public facilities.

According to source (S-03), a credible and dependable asset with access to sensitive information, the group is referred to internally as "Operation Gold Standard."  This information has been confirmed by NSA surveillance and the Ft. Meade IG.

Group membership consists of several individuals who work in the building maintenance department of NASA headquarters.  Also involved are members of the local community immediately surrounding Ft.Meade, as well as several US army intelligence analysts stationed there, who were also responsible for the Occupy protests that resulted in the vandalization of the Ft. Meade CG's POV.

The group has no leader, but is founded upon the ideology of Ayn Rand, which meets the criteria of terrorism as defined by FM-138 and SAEDA doctrine 13.5-b.  The stated goals of Randian ideology can be found in her writings, including the destruction of the State, the murder of civilians, the use of mass terrorism, and the confiscation of public property.  Randian terrorist methodology is also clearly explained in her writings where,for example (Atlas Shrugged) protagonists blow up infrastructure, attack striking workers with firearms, and murder US soldiers execution-style.

[this section redacted]

[CONTINUE TEXT]  Randian ideology should be considered dangerous, and any and all adherents should be identified as terrorists, and subject to the same domestic terrorism laws that have convicted Islamic fundamentalists.

It is recommended that all group members be immediately detained for questioning.  Furthermore, it is highly recommended that those claiming to be "Objectivists" be subject to official investigation due to ideological ties to terrorism.  If necessary, they should be transferred from local police custody to CIA custody, for transport elsewhere.





Zizek Exposed as Secret Ayn Rand Agent!

Randian Double-Agent Exposed!

Slavoj Zizek as a Reader of Rand

Secret Ljubljana Objectivist Cabal Included Strange Galt-Dagny-Rearden-esque Love Triangle...

From UK police secret wiretapping program, classified transcripts reveal Zizek's hidden past as a hypermodernist.  From an expose published by News of the World, (a Rupert Murdoch company):

Zizek: «All those books were purely ironic and those stupid mystics were too dull to comprehend it!  Now I am rich and will spring my uber-materialist trap on them!  How much real life is in fact fantasy in a Randian sense!  Mladen and Alanka and I will now leave you with the desolation of your subjectivism, where we will retire to our secret and well fortified bastion in the Urals.  Good riddance, and so on and so forth!»

Reaction from academia...Dismay among Kantians...Transcendentalism a farce declares Badiou...Brian Massumi: "I told you so"..

Read the full article here


An Objectivist Relativism in Deep Space? Help!

From the Hate Mail Inbox:

What follows is a message from someone presumably living somewhere in Southern California, where Reason is King, A is A, and spelling doesn't count.  Our (the royal We) best guess is someone independently wealthy, secular, and on the board of Ayn Rand Institute.

If anyone wants to take a shot at interpreting the relativist monism associated with the picture in question, please do.

On Thu, Sep 13, 2012 at 3:24 PM, wrote:
C*******  G****** sent a message using the contact form at

www.*******.org/*** /

...ok.  Now whoever made this picture must be some irrational mystic non-thinking dolt.  For one, There are no mirrers [sic] in space.  Whoever made this is devoid of all reason and thus insane...

...why don't you stop slandering the Great author who commands audiences of tens of millions and who proves mans [sic] value?

*****  *****


The first-Ever Objectivist Science Fiction Review


Rational Ends: Rand's Head Floating through Space
a review of "Objectivists in Space" and "The Floating Head of Ayn Rand"

By a serious, anonymous academic

from introduction, page xv:

the disembodied head of the pseudo-philosopher ideologue, left to the vast emptiness of the Real with nothing but a space helmet ... maintains consciousness by the sheer power of her indomitable will.  Rand, who maintained that man is in fact an island unto himself (to the chagrin of every philosopher since the seventeenth century) is left to the paradise of her own ego, with an unlimited amount of time and space for her to fill with the wonders of her creativity ...  One imagines the power of Rand's raging words echoing through a dark nebula, "let there be reason!"...  to which a completely understandable and totally predictable and controllable force responds by organizing hydrogen and helium into new self-aware molecules that in no way resemble Leibniz's mysitcal monads..."

from page 324:

"In the opening of this ingenious episode of Science Fact, [Ayn Rand's disembodied cosmonaut head] has, through the sheer force of rhetoric, dispossessed various races of aliens from their various collectivisms and superstitions ... strangely [the authors] even go so far as to suggest that the various races of science-fiction characters recognizable in their ur-forms, such as the proto-ferengi (whose society was modeled off of Rand's Capitalist Manifesto, as opposed to the proto-ewoks, who adopted Rand's Anti-Industrial Revolution instead) [were organized] by Rand's floating head at some point in the distant past.  Because of criticism that this sequence is a-historical, [the authors] cite Rand's theory of anti-relativity [Rand's theory of time travel]...  On conflicting matters of the election by Rand of several Science-Fact species, [the authors] engage in a hermeneutics of consent.  One prominent example of this involves the proto-ferengi, with their lust, greed and utter lack of interest in anything remotely transcendent, and how it is possible that they do in fact share the same beneficent creator in Rand as the Vulcans, a race of purely-logical ubermensch along more-mainstream Objectivist lines... in both cases, a theosophical polemic has been initiated as to the transcendental rationality of the deified Floating Head of God, which has yet to be fully explored."

page 689:

"All questions of sexuation on the plane of immanence aside, it is clear that Rand, in her now legendary space-bound form, is clearly interested in the erotic nature of black hole 2007-69-S in its relation of dominance over the spiral galaxy which it is violently devouring..."

page 1082:

"Ayn Rand's theory of time travel, which she humorously referred to as "tiddly-wink relativism for dolts" first came to her while she was writing a Hollywood script that necessitated just such a device...  [The authors] explain her elegent "completely rational" theory as "de-mystified deontological and theosophic motifs, sans subjectivity, as applied to a matrix of vectors derived from subset feedback algorithms."  If their interpretation is correct, a similar method could be applied to myriad superstitious beliefs as various as unicorns and Mormonism, leading to results as improbable as the election of Paul Ryan."

page 1149:

"Theirs [the future objectivist community's,] is a post-apocalyptic world devoid of all content... it is a cosmos of purely noumenal forms that act according to formulaic phenomenal logic that is in no way influenced by emotion.  In the aftermath of the collectivist uprising of 2056 against their corporate overlords, the Randians ... have obliterated all emotive non-conformity.  Their foundational bedrock is not the Cartesian ego.  It is the ego of the Great Leader, the Floating Head of Ayn Rand Who Brought Them Out From the Land of Socialism Into the Promised Land of Total Libidinal Freedom, where there is no Big Other, objet petit a, or otherness in general.  These future generations of objectivists are truly the Her-Not-Yet-Un-Chosen People."


Rational Ends: Rand's Head Floating through Space
a review of "Objectivists in Space" and "The Floating Head of Ayn Rand"

By a serious, anonymous academic

"A well-timed analysis fully consistent within itself, absolutely no contradictions that I could see." ~ Michael Berliner, Co-Chairman of the Board of Directors at the Ayn Rand Institute and Senior Advisor to the Ayn Rand Archives.

"Reads better than Fountainhead, with ideas more relevant than Atlas Shrugged, and at least as much rough sex.  Very stimulating." ~ David Kelley, Co-Chairman of the Board of Directors at the Ayn Rand Institute.

"I did not vote for anything remotely related to this.  When it comes to philosophy I prefer something that isn't pure fantasy, so Ayn Rand is out.  Way out.  When I said that Ayn Rand was the reason I got into politics what I meant to say was something else.  But yeah, the book.  Yeah.  My budget has nothing to do with that book.  Next trick question." ~Hon. Paul Ryan, US House of Representatives.

"My therapist said that reading Ayn Rand was worse than getting raped by a gang of self-proclaimed executives.  Does that make it wrong?" ~Yaron Brook, Junior.

"Eat your goddamn cheerios.  Refooooorm!"
~The Floating Head of Ayn Rand


And Now A Message From The Global-Warming Objectivist Liberation Front (GOLF)

Global Warming... Bah!


Buy Objectivists Gear Now!

A brief advertisement to raise money for the Sarah Palin Political Action Committee. Buy now to save [capitalism]!


Rand Clones

Since we are well underway, I guess it is safe to start re-interpreting the word "objective." There are several fundamental problems with the empiricist approach, all of which fundamentally piss me off.

...our clone army...

... the fallacy of induction, coupled with the fallacy of asserting the consequent. How, might I ask, are we to know that our problems with "Soylent Rand" are more than a fluke of nature?...


Math: The Final [Objectivist] Frontier

...being a good Objectivist, I knew that feelings are shit, and that, paraphrasing the words of Galt, " must live by his own mind... anyone that lives by his emotions is a mystic POS."...Unable to reconcile the guidance of the divine Rand, I consulted my magic-8-ball.
..."Is that what Ayn would want?"

The magic-8-ball said "Unclear."

...I screamed, "Don't you know anything! Matter is insoluble, and is the fundamental a priori of existance! That is the primacy of matieralism!"
"Actually, sir" he stammered, "matter isn't insoluble. It is frozen energy and spinning quarks."




Passing Mars, Greenspan, the Brandens, & other Traitors

Captains Log, Randate 10 Sep. 2056


"Shut up, old man," I interrupted him. "You underestimate the power of even a Battalion of Ayn Rand clones. Man must control his environment, or else he is just an animal...

"You god-damn scientists, always claiming that science is not absolute. Well, boo hoo" ...

... I jotted down on my planner a note: "eliminate Bush twins" and then scratched it out.

... "I have a Ph;D in epistemology from the Ronald Reagan University. I have been director of the Ayn Rand Institute since Leonard Peikoff committed suicide in 2028. I order you, as your superior officer, to commence with the master plan."


3...2...1... Rand-off!

Captain's Log, Randate 2056, September 2nd.

Today the collectivists destroyed the earth... "Get to the ship!" I yelled.

"Sir!" he began, "the Objectivist supply team has left for Durango. I guess they are upset again about the price of milk in Ouray. I can't find them anywhere!"

"Calm yourself, Lieutenant Willers. Who have you gathered from town?"

"There are three capitalists, seven materialists, and twenty-three reformed Mormons here sir. The Reformed Tabernacle is almost completely accounted for!"

"We'll have to make do then, Willers. Leave the others. There is no time! Tell the Mormons to load the cloning vats onboard...

"Willers, it is not a sacrifice if it is rational. You will stay here and that is an order. I expect you to do your duty"... Poor bastard, left to be tortured by the commies.

...looked down and said "Goodbye, foul Earth. Good riddance, pit of despair. Let the collectivists have that rock."